, but

I am a new-age woman.

A woman who knows the

bludgeoning of disrespect

and the suffocation of judgment.

I am a stranger to the city I live in today

I have learned to love myself

oceans away from everything I had ever loved.

I have survived prescription after prescription, therapist after therapist,

I have built myself up from the broken pieces of my mind.

I have endured a lot

, but I have also been in love

I have given my heart to people and let them destroy me

I have survived drowning, but I can’t survive you.

I know I deserve better, but

I love, and I love

And I give, and I stay.

She avoids me, but she cares, right?

She doesn't treat me right, but she likes me, right?

I am sad, but she deserves a second chance, right?

Is it wrong to leave because you want more?

But is it wrong to stay when you know you deserve better?

I get breadcrumbs every day.

A touch of the hand, a kind word, a considerate gesture

I get breadcrumbs few and far between

But what of the appetite

What of the hunger that can’t be sustained

What of my bones?

Tired, but standing.

What of my breath?

Laboured, but enduring.

I want more, but will I ever receive it?

If I never get more, do I even deserve it?

I love her, but I don’t think I will survive this.